If only it were optional... (shivermesara) wrote in newparentwisdom,
If only it were optional...
shivermesara
newparentwisdom

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What would you do? (Long, X-posted)

They say that parenting gets harder as children get older.  I feel exactly opposite.  Sure I loved my son when he was teeny tiny and helpless.  I cared for him just the same way, wanting the best for him and wanting to protect him.  But I also savored the time that I spent in class and plopped him in daycare.  It was far less stressful. 

Now he's 14 months old and I feel much differently.  I scheduled my classes for Spring so that I would only go 2 days a week.  Now that's not even enough.  With all the things he's learning and discovering I don't want to miss a second.  The more time I spend with him the more time I want to spend with him.  I don't want him in daycare anymore.  For a number of reasons. 

Number 1 is that while I don't feel like they actually listen to me at the daycare.  While it's an awesome daycare that my son loves and where he feels safe, they never pay attention to the schedule that I write down every day, so I've just started writing down DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.  Despite this, I love the school.  All the teachers have had at least 2 years of Early Childhood Development Education and 3 of them are actually degreed.  They treat Gabe wonderfully and they teach him sign language and many other wonderful things.

Number 2 reason is the other children.  Gabe has a so called best friend that he plays with every day.  Last few times I've been in there observing him, I've become more and more furious with this brat.  Today was the worst.  I came in to have lunch with Gabe and he was toddling around when the aforementioned child pushed him down and climbed on top of him.  My poor baby is face down with a kid 10 months older than him on top of him and Gabe isn't crying he's just saying "Ow, ow, ow."  I was hoping to see a teacher step in and discipline him, but I had to pry him off and was pissed to only hear, "Damarko, that hurts Gabe's body."  They didn't look him directly in the eye, or make any physical contact to try to get the message to sink in.  Also within the first 10 minutes of being there, Damarko pushed Gabe down 3 times, with his hands on his face, only to get a "Damarko, that hurts Gabe's body."  He also knocked him away from his baby shopping cart and commenced to slam said shopping cart into Gabriel's back, making him cry.  At lunch they were sitting side by side and Damarko kept slapping his hand.  Yesterday when I picked him up he was in a playpen "for his safety."  Translation:  Damarko was beating the crap out of him and rather than punish Damarko by putting him in the playpen, they punish my son.

I really want to take one class summer quarter because that's the only quarter they offer it.  But my daycare isn't subsidised if I don't go full time.  I don't even want him there the 2 hours that I would be in class, but he does love being there and he has fun with the activities and other babies.  Do I need to socialize him that much at such a young age?  I am really really torn.  Any suggestions?

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